Sad Days

This morning I gave mom a call before her chemo. Today was her second to the last chemo. Pat is down helping her out and took her to chemo. Mom answered the phone and I could sense her sadness. In fact, she told me that today was a day of sadness for our family.

Adia, Jennifer and Bart's daughter was diagnosed yesterday with Type 1 Diabetes. (Pat's granddaughter, mom's great-granddaughter) She is in the hospital in Ketchum, Idaho. They are still trying to stabilize her blood sugar. Adia is learning to deal with this disease, but it is a challenge. She is one brave ten year old!

Today she is learning to moniter her blood sugar level by sticking her finger. So, everyone who walked in the door got stuck by Adia! Jen and Bart are by her side day and night and are trying to get a doctor lined up in the Los Angeles area.

I am always looking for strength and answers in books. Today I found this poem in a favorite book of mine, After the Ecstasy, the Laundry, by Jack Kornfield. The poem is by Rumi, an ancient Persian poet.

This being human is a guest house.

Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,

some momentary awareness comes

as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all.

Even if they're a crowd of sorrows,

who violently sweep your house

empty of its furniture

Still treat each guest honorably,

He may be clearing you out

for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,

meet them at the door laughing,

and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes,

because each has been sent

as a guide from beyond.

As the author of this book so wisely says: "To bow to the fact of our life's sorrows and betrayals is to accept them: and from this deep gesture we discover that all life is workable. As we learn to bow, we discover that the heart holds more freedom and compassion than we could imagine. "

I see my family doing this...bowing to our sorrows. As we meet them head on, we laugh and love and care for each other. Adia, (bless her, bless her) has her testing kit by her bed...she is learning to use a hand held computer and will be able to calculate carbs in her meals whereever she is! She admitted after receiving stuffed animals and flowers..."maybe this isn't all bad" What a soul she has.

Pat has been with mom for the past week and will be there until next week. She has cooked, cleaned and cared for mother. Penny is getting some well-deserved rest. Mom's chemo went well this morning and she didn't have to get the million dollar shot which is wonderful news. (the shot made her hurt all over) So..five treatments down..one to go.

A Thanksgiving Toast

My cousin Bill, suggested that I read the New York Times editorial on Thanksgiving day. I am glad that I did. It held a lot of meaning for me and was read to our guests before we dug into our turkey dinner. You can read the entire essay online, but I especially liked the last few sentences:

" Most of what life contains comes to us unexpectedly after all. It is our job to welcome it and give it meaning. So let us toast what we cannot know and could not have guessed, and to the unexpected ways our lives will merge in Thanksgivings to come. "

Yes, we faced the unexpected this Thanksgiving, and by being together somehow it all had meaning. Our family was together at Penny's house, Pam had a gathering of family and friends, and Pat was in Chicago with her husband's family. We were spread out, but definitely bound in spirit.

Next week we face the cancer again. Monday brings more blood tests for Mom, and then another round of chemo on Tuesday. I know she dreads it all, but is facing it with spunk and

wit. This treatment is number 4..which means that she has 2 to go after this. That is good and offers some hope on this long journey.

Whatever you do to reach your higher power, be it praying, chanting, dancing, meditating, or a quiet walk in nature, send love and power moms way next week. It matters.

Link to NY times editorial is on this blog under "Helpful Links"

Who Needs Hair!

Half way done! Last week Betty finished her third chemotherapy treatment. She has done much better this

time and had a lot less discomfort and nausea.

Her spirits are great thanks to her wonderful support network, which by the way has been found to be one of

the most important aids in healing.

Yes, her hair is now gone..but not to worry. She has been supplied with many groovy hats. This one even matches her carpet! It is soft and fuzzy and is up there as a favorite hat. She also has a bamboo hat she loves. Who has heard of bamboo yarn?

Pat is visiting mom this weekend. She got to watch grandson Justin quarterback his high school team to a victory. Mom was there in spirit.

Pat knows all about losing hair to chemotherapy as you can tell from this picture.

Tom..his hair loss is just..hmmm...well life. But I still think he is cute.

Still..we smile and we laugh and enjoy each moment we have together. And as we approach the season of Thanksgiving we have a lot to be grateful for.

Flying by with news...

Just flying by to let you know what has been happening with Mom.

• She now has two chemo treatments under her belt


• Once again..she felt crummmmmmmmmy after the treatment.


• She has felt really good the past four days..so we hope she keeps on feeling spunky. (at least until her next chemo in a few weeks)


• Her hair all fell out..but she is keeping warm with some nice warm hats.


• Penny is keeping her stocked with meals.


• Annie is visiting daily and brings sweets.


• Vito still bringing her the newspaper daily and her mail.


• She appreciates all of your calls, cards and visits.

Go Broncos!!

I admit that we are all a little crazy about the Boise State Broncos here in Boise. Mom, being the sports fan she is has become a bronco fan too. Whenever they play mom loves to watch and we make phone calls back and forth whenever something exciting happens. It is always a good game..truly the Broncos are never boring. Last week I called to remind mom that the game would be on in a few minutes. She wasn't happy..

"Well," she said, "They had better win, I am in no mood for them to lose!"

Thank goodness the Broncos pulled it off and won..because her beloved Angels and Dodgers have totally let her down and Chemo hasn't helped either..The side effects of chemo are surfacing daily and mom is facing them with humor and frustration. Who wouldn't be frustrated.

Just as predicted her hair began falling out about day 14 and continues to fall out daily. One of Luke's friends knit her a hat out of bamboo (who knew) yarn and it is her current favorite hat. She said she doesn't even look in the mirror..and just puts it on.

She figures she can save all of her grey hair and use it to make Christmas cards..ya know Santa's beard!

Tomorrow is another chemo treatment. Chemo treatment #2. Keep her in you heart tomorrow morning and especially the days following. It can be a bit bumpy for her the days following chemo.

I can't help but think of all the other people I love who have gone through this. It was hard, but they all pulled through. In fact this week Sally (my pal who had breast cancer) and Pat (my sister in photo who had breast cancer) have been helping me get through the dreaded swine flu.

Remember..bald is beautiful. Hair is highly overrated..right..right? Bald is the new black,

Bald rocks and rolls, bald is awesome..

I Get By With A Little Help From My Friends!"

On your left you can glimpse at Betty's wall 'o cards. Yes, those are all cards which had been sent to her as of last Thursday. I think I counted over 50! On the left is one of the many flower bouquets she received.

All of the calls, cards, flowers and food from friends has been such an incredible help. I was there all of last week and daily would bring in the mail with at least two cards daily. Bags of homemade cookies, flowers were at the doorstep daily, and the phone calls! Goodness..they just kept coming.

Penny made this sign to put on the door so mom could get some rest. All of those calls and visitors are great..but too much is tiring.

So, ta da...a "I'm Napping" sign was made.

So, how is Betty doing two weeks into chemo? It isn't fun..the chirpy Betty on the phone line is really feeling pretty tired and has some of the common symptoms of chemo. It is expected that her hair will fall out this week.

With that said..Penny, Pat and I all agree that she is doing amazingly well. She is caring for herself now..made herself a soft boiled egg for breakfast this morning. She is doing her laundry and is basically living on her own. Of course Penny is there a lot of the time and she has a cadre of people checking up on her. But, her desire is to be alone like before. So, we honor that desire for as long as possible.

Here are some picture of mom and a few from her "support team." I need to get a picture of mom with Lucas. He has been wonderful bringing healthy drinks and spending prized baseball TV moments with her. Oh and Pat too..she was there for two weeks.

Vito and mom have a standing root beer float date every Friday night. She even chills the glasses!

Chicken Enchiladas..yum!

What would we do without..Penny!




Princess Betty and Annie..

"It's was a bowl of goldfish!"

First chemo under our belt. Rather, under Mom's belt. On the way home I asked her how she felt.

Mom: "like a bowl of goldfish"

Me: "What does that mean?"

Mom: "Don't goldfish swim around happy all day..that is how I feel."

Me: "I have never heard that before"

Mom: That is because I just made it up! "

Me: Ahhhhhhhhh...

And so we continued our short drive home from Hoag Hospital.

The chemo was in her doctor's office and the doctor even came out to say hello. Mom was the oldest by far, and nobody could believe she was 91 years old. The chairs were all full within and hour of our arrival and the Mary Poppins like nurses made sure everyone was taken care of. It was a very upbeat and positive place, especially since it was only used for chemotherapy. The treatment took four hours in which Mom got to know everyone's life story.


We have a family tradition. Nana started it (or so the story goes) by wearing her best beads to the hospital when she had surgery. She said she was pretending she was going to a party. Last year our daughter Greta took the same approach to brain surgery, draping a scarf around her neck and beads as we headed to the hospital in Missoula. Tuesday Mom put on her fiesta dress and did the same. You gotta admire this spunk!

Today I think the chemo is taking charge. She feels all sorts of aches and pains and is just plain tired. As I write this at the Balboa library (my favorite library besides my school libraries) she is napping. Her neighbor, Vito, is keeping an eye out for her.

It is beautiful here today. The sun is out and the ocean a deep blue. From Mom's window we can see the ocean and the boats go by. This is her favorite spot. I think she likes to keep an eye on everyone in the hood and report on it to Vito.

This past weekend was Bart's 40'th birthday. We celebrated Dooley style..cooking together, laughing, going for a run and the best moment was when we all swam together in the ocean. There was something magical about that moment.

We treasure these memories and plow ahead giving mom the best we can.

A few things..if you call the best times are early morning and late afternoon. She naps sometimes mid morning and afternoon. If you want to visit, keep the visits short and it would be nice if you called first.


I will continue to keep you all posted.

Special thanks to: Annie for the pea soup when we arrived home, the flowers, robe and peppermint ice cream. Pat for being the best caretaker..making those pears, custard and whatever Mom desired. Penny for continuing to care for mother in the most upbeat way you can imagine..Sally wins the most creative card contest...but all of your cards are appreciated so much, as well as your phone calls and visits.

Not the news we wanted..

Wednesday Pat and Penny took mom to see her doctor. We all fully anticipated good news, since Mom is doing so well.

I will try to explain what Pat and Penny shared with me.

The doctor was surprised with what was found, and it is rare indeed. The name of the type of cancer is : utering papillarly serous carcinoma. On the pathology report it says: Endometroid adenocarcinoma with underlying papillary serous carcinoma, grade 3.

The doctor translated this to mean the cells were more like ovarian cancer than endometrial cancer. This means that the treatment will be chemo rather than radiation. Radiation would not be effective with this type of cancer. The prescribed treatment is chemo.

We all feel really sad that mom needs to go through this treatment. But it was not a decision made without a lot of thought, deliberation and weighing what is best for mom. Mom decided with the help of the doctor, Pat, Penny and Annie that chemo is her best option. Her quality of life will be better with chemo than without with this type of cancer. We can expect for her hair to fall out, and for her to be really tired. The doctor said that she will not get sick with this type of chemo. She will have 6 treatments and they will be 3 weeks apart. Her first treatment is Tuesday. I will be there to take her.

That is it for now. Mom is in good spirits, has a good appetite and is being cared for well by Pat. She is pretty independent and is getting around just great.

I will keep you all posted.

She's home!!

Yes, that's me..floating down the Boise River, savoring the day. It was a lovely day and I felt good. The scenery was lovely, nobody else on the river and I was soaking in all that sunshine and enjoying the flow of the river. Not a worry about my mom..because she is doing great!!



After a few email messages and a phone call I realized that I hadn't let you all know that Betty is now home. She went home on Friday and slept most of that day. She rallied enough to watch most of the Boise State game but couldn't stand the pressure. I must admit that it was a close game. (Boise won) This weekend she has rested a lot, watched football and is in good spirits. Penny was on hand to do her hair and help her bathe. Pat cooked some deliciously Dooley meals and Greta sent her some healthy muffins.



The cards keep arriving and flowers from a neighbor arrived yesterday. All are appreciated so much.



I know mom is frustrated and thinks she isn't "worth a thing!" but we all think differently. Pat thinks she is doing great and so does Penny.



Thanks again for all of your love and concern.



Stay tuned...

Betty Takes on Health Care Reform..

Yes folks, she is still in the hospital. But that doesn't mean she isn't doing well. She is..in fact she is complaining so we figure she must be getting better. Here are Betty' s health reform ideas..Listen to this politicians!

1. Coffee should always be hot! (c0mplaint #1)

2. Never ever ever ever serve cream of wheat with cold milk...this is a travesty. The milk should be warmed up and in a nice little pitcher!
(Complaint #2)

3. And finally, when a 91 year old spunky lady calls for the nurse..the nurse needs to come right away..Don't keep Betty waiting!! (complaint #3)




Hopefully she will go home tomorrow. The physical therapist paid her a visit and was amazed at how well she climbed stairs and got around in general..two days after surgery!



She is in little pain now also and generally pretty darn spunky!




She is grateful for all of the nice cards, prayers, good wishes, and messages from all of you. No complaints with that!!

Betty Rallies!!!

She's sitting up, eating jello..(or rather trying to..it is pretty jiggly) noticing the cute men at the hospital, and making jokes. Today is a new day and fortunately Betty is much much better. Last night she was not a happy camper at all.

The doctor thinks she will go home Thursday. Pat is there to help her with the jello which is so jiggly she can barely get it in her mouth.

Her room has an awesome view...and we are all so grateful that mom can enjoy the view and is getting better.

Just out of surgery..

I just talked to Pat and Mom is just out of surgery. The doctor was very positive and felt that the surgery went well. There was a complication so they had to make an incision rather than a llaparoscopic surgery. So, she will be in the hospital a few more days than planned.

She will more than likely have to have radiation too. The doctor said that when they get the pathology report back he will know more. It may only be a few treatments.



That is all the news I have for now..I am amazed that this blog wasn't blocked by my school district.



OK..now back to being a librarian.

Clear Liquids...

Tomorrow is mom's surgery. Today was the clear liquid preparation for surgery day. I don't think it has been a lot of fun. She is still cheerful and glad she is surrounded by her family.

Pat flew in yesterday and stay for a few weeks. Penny is nearby of course and taking care of so many details. Jon, Shellyn and family dropped by today to keep her company which sounded like fun when I called. It is never dull that is for sure.





Keep mom in your thoughts and prayers tomorrow. I will let you all know how the surgery goes as soon as I find out.

Oh My Mama!!

Mom is doing great. The waiting is not fun, but she has had lots of company. Yesterday, Sunday, she had a lot of visitors including Trevor and girlfriend Melissa, Luke, Tera, Jim, Sista Penny, Bret, Kris, Gavin, Jennifer, Bart and Adia. Jennifer and Bart fixed her dinner.

I love talking to her on the phone..she is upbeat and full of lively conversation. Friday, she hurried me off the phone..had to scoop root beer for Vito, her neighbor. They have root beer floats every Friday night. Think Mom has a thing for younger men!

It's All About the Food!!

I just talked with my mom on the phone..the call went something like this:

"Hi Mom"

"Hi Honey"

"Guess what I just had for lunch?"

"What?"

"The best BLT ever..thick juicy tomatoes from my garden, bacon from the coop..great bread..."

"Oh I wish I was there"

"Me too, hey..what kind of potatoes do you use for our famous potato salad"

"Well you can use............. And so it went. An entire conversation all about food. We must have spend a good five minutes on the potatoes alone. (I think I will go with red and leave the skin on) That is how it is and always has been in my family.

Food, food, food..and how basic is that. And, how wonderful. We have the best times..eating, cooking and laughing. They all go together in our family..and it began with Nana and then Mom and now all of us still carry on the tradition.

I don't think any of us ever miss a meal.

I took a picture of what Mom said was her last lemon

pie. She has baked

probably three since her last pie!

With a little over a week to go before surgery, she seems to be doing well. Today she is enjoying a football game and she had fun watching BSU play a few night ago. Go Broncos!

Thanks for the cards and treats. Aunt Mary brought some figs over today, Jennifer called to offer any help, Penny did her hair and took her shopping, Vito took care of her yard and enjoyed root beer float with her last night..and Annie brought some lovely roses before she left for vacation. That is only a partial list of all who are helping Mom.

Isn't it grand!!

What to do...

This Picture was taken at Mom's 90th birthday celebration. Of course we had wonderful food and lots of laughs. We are good at both eating and laughing!

Mom is feeling pretty tired..so the best thing to do for her now is to send cards or letters. Phone calls tire her out I think and she feels like she has to chat. Also, she takes naps in the afternoon (when I visit her I go to the beach then) and phone calls usually wake her up.

Of course if you are one of her "regulars" who call often then I think it is OK. Maybe just ask..if she is OK with getting your phone call. I write her a letter every week and she loves it.

Today went well..she got to know every one's life story who drew her blood or gave her some sort of test. Doesn't that just figure!

So, keep those cards and letters coming!! Feel free to comment on this blog too and I will send them on.

Always room for one more..

This picture was taken at Greta's graduation, four years ago. Little did mother know that Bart (Jennifer's husband..which makes him grandson in-law?) would live with her for a year. Mom says that having Bart live with her this past year was one of the most wonderful experiences of her life. They become close pals, Bart and Mom.

This is just another example of Mom sharing her home. I cannot remember a time growing up when we didn't have someone living with us. To name a few: Allen, who became a doctor, Barry who is an investor I think, Warren who was happily married to Pat for 33 years, Mary who became a nun, Jaimie, Sergio, Gloria all from the Patron family in Mazatlan. Mom even raised three children, who were under five when they came to our house. My father was treating their mother who had TB. Oh, there are more, Annette an exchanage student from France, Tony from Mazatlan, and her mother who lived to be over 104!

It's been a week now since Mom visited the doctor. Tomorrow Penny will take her to Hoag Hospital for tests required before her surgery. Surgery will be a week from next Monday. She says she isn't nervous about the tests at all. After the tests they will do their weekly shopping at the produce market, Trader Joe's, and Dollar Store.

So, things are looking good. Mom appreciates all the calls and visits from everyone. Keep those cards coming. She loves cards!

Bringing you up to date....

Oh my, where to begin. Honestly, I can't imaging my mother sick, especially having cancer. Even now, she is a wonder. Imagine this, after a day of doctor visits and tests family drops by around dinner time. She manages to create a feast for six from two sweet potatoes, a chicken and cabbage. If you haven't had mom's cabbage salad you have not tasted real cabbage salad.

But I can't ignore it, my mother was diagnosed with endometrial cancer a week ago. The good news is that is is Stage 1 and very treatable. Of course we were all worried about this diagnosis, but felt better when we learned more about this type of cancer and just what we are dealing with. http//www.mayoclinic.com/health/endometrial-cancer/DS00306

This Mayo Clinic site may help you understand it a bit more. When the doctor got all the test results she was able to meet with him. From what I hear and read he is incredible. You can find out more on this web site: http//www.gynoncology.com/mr/mr.htm We are all impressed with how kind and accessible he is. He gave mom and Penny his cell phone number and encourages email contact.

I was impressed with how many research articles he had authored. His office is close to home and I hear has an incredible view of the ocean.

Surgery is scheduled for September 14th. She will stay the night in the hospital if all goes well. There is a possibility she will stay a few more nights, but it depends on the surgery. Pat will fly down from Boise on September 12th and take care of her along with Penny. Penny has been an incredible caregiver. Meals, hairstyling, driving to appointments, the dollar store, produce market and Trader Joe's are just a few of the many ways she is helping mom out.

That is all for now. Check this blog often as I will keep you all updated on Betty's progress.

She's a spunky one, that Betty. We anticipate full recovery and that she will be back to making lemon meringue (my favorite) pies soon.